My visit

Visiting Sydney after 23 yrs. Well I say visit, cause I went there with only one cause, which is to see my darling. I miss him so much although I still see him every weekend. I have to learn to let things go . Holding on too tight will only make my alone days suck. I learnt a lot of things about my other half although I live with him. We like aimless walks. We like just strolling around the parks, and pulling pranks on each other. I know he wants to pamper me, but its my character that doesn't allow my guard of ''masculinity'' down. Always thinking I have to be the man in everything, when I dont even have a dick. ahahha!!!

We had random conversations and came to a conclusion that I have an inferior complex towards his ex-gfs...well, its just that I have never been treated like I was the only one before. So this is really foreign to me to be full of self esteem and confidence that I kick ass and they suck ass! Heh Heh!

We both love to drink and like to eat Tapas. He thinks i'm a glutton, but he cant stop feeding me. Wonder who's fault it is ahhaa. He even bought a twin pack toothbrush and gave me one, even when I brought my own. It means something to me although its just a 3 dollar toothbrush.

He insisted on buying me sunglasses. Something that I wanted to buy for the whole year since I lost my old ones. Never got around to buying them. He has bought me what I wanted for this year. I dont know how to thank him enough for it. He is going to think I am gay.

Well I miss him already, and I am home, going to sleep on his bed and smell his smelly pillow. I love him but I don't think he does yet. Muax baby!

Lonely in a crowd

Lalaland

We look around at people around us, we see happiness, sadness, grief, pain, suffering, joy and bla bla. We sit and ponder when our turn will come. Will we every be able to find the one, or is there even such a thing as ''anyone'' for me? Fail relationships teach us to filter, but how many fails does it take to make a win. haha. It is mathematically impossible to guess this. The human emotion is the strongest and yet can be the weakest. A perfectly healthy person could die of severe depression and a bed ridden person could have ended up walking the next day because of their endless positivity to go on living.

People around are in greatly secure relationships with plans to tie the knot. Age is not a factor but definitely a matter. Good futures ahead with a perfect lifestyle. Compatible partners and great jobs. How come I have none? Is it just not the time yet? Is it because I have just began living? Are people really so happy? Is what I think perfection is , is something unattainable by me but is by others? Am I not fated to have that life? Is happiness short-lived for me? Am I too negative? Am I just an ass or am I just wasting my time?

When will I ever feel that feeling?

Doomed or what

I am starting to think that I don't deserve it

That I will never find and be showered with

Never will get someone who will treat me

Treat me will all respect, love and affection.

Someone who can just give me

That tiny bit of assurance that I am loved

Why do I always get treated like a convenience?

A passer by who is just there

An excess baggage when not needed

How am I not to feel like shit?

You reminded me of hope and love

I have no love but I still have some hope.

WickeD~

5 DAys in Hotham with a Fat sack carefully moulded for novelty purposes....