Lust or Love?

It all began as a dream come true. I finally found the love of my life and I was willing to give love a second chance. I brought back the meaning of faith and fate into my life. To have hope and to be happy. To be really really happy and to smile from my heart. To cry tears of joy. Over something that never worked out to be. I loved so much and gave it my all to make things better. I tried willingly to give him the most comfortable life. I am tired but I still did what I wanted to. He is blessed that I was sent for this domestic aid. I was nothing more than a domestic aid in the end. I was nothing more than an infatuation of a person who had pure thoughts of perfectionism. A person who did not allow failures or changes to be part of life. He is a great man by himself. He can love me like nobody else, and he can resent me for every reason. I lost myself in this trap. I forgot myself. I started living for him. When things arent looking so good for me, it frustrates him because I am not good enough or seem unproductive. I don't speak out much because I don't like to argue and he speaks to me very rudely and it breaks my heart to hear him speak to me like that. So much for a person who once promised me almost the moon and the sun and not forgetting of a perfectly simple and peaceful life.

I guess people change and they constantly want to upgrade themselves and will always get more and more self confidence and so would their status and abilities rise. Who better to leave first than the one who has it all. I have learnt that people are bloody selfish and only eventually think of themselves. No matter how rational you think you are, you are at some points irrational. We never gave love a chance to grow , we never gave our feelings space to nurture. We never tried to live 2 lives together. Instead, we did it all wrong. What seemed so beautiful and promising has now turned out to be a devastating outcome for me. Maybe not for you. But I am the most hurt or the only one hurt. I might not have the strength to move on now. I don't know when, nobody knows.

I am broken hearted and you have just proven to me once again that, men are really all the same. No matter what kind of person I turn out to be. You failed me.