Is this the end?

I sit and cry, feeling the pain and angst,

Feelings so mixed up I feel like a clown,

Expressions seems to be showing differently

My heart has slowed down its rate this time,

Crying without tears, but there is redness in my eyes,

I lost all my energy and I only want you to hold me up,

To hug me and to kiss me.

To tell me everything will be alright and it will be,

To tell me you love me and want things to be right,

To tell me you want to make us as one,

I am so tired from this pain,

I rather die then be left by you,

I have never given my heart and not be able to take it back,

This time I gave and you lost it,

It is my job to find it and put it back in you, you tell me,

But, it seems a task so hard and yet I would not give up,

Everything is so fragile I am losing myself,

Everything I do or say might end everything,

Why must it be so hard for you to move on,

To believe in what we have and to accept that you have to move on,

To move on and understand that some things are not worth in memory,

Things that are long gone and of no concern,

Giving yourself the courage to open up your heart and receive my love,

Giving yourself the chance to treat me better,

Giving me that chance to be loved and respected like I do to you.

For god's sake just fucking kill me.