Does it mean anything to a girl if their other half placed their names as a special exclusive someone, announcing to the whole world?
I guess everyone has a different view based on their life and current relationship status. I for one was used to be against even letting anyone know that I am attached in a romantic relationship other than people who I can't avoid seeing or letting them know. I was just not up for the questioning by nosy friends or family members as I do not have a really clear track record of having long term relationships. It is annoying when they start probing into your life and asking you family really screwed up questions like , ''Wow your daughter seems to be hopping from men to another, how come?''. This is not nice people. Wait till this happens to you. I did not ask for this. So happen my life is just like that with so many fail relationships, but I never gave up and I was able to move on unlike some people who are still sulking.
So anyway, now, today, I sort of am in a relationship that I would say is steady and towards long term. Hope I do not jinx this. But somehow I feel funny whenever I want to upload a photo of both of us or even to tag him in my album. There is this sort of inferior complex that I am getting. Like I am not good enough to stand next to him. Coming from a person, retrenched twice in a year...thats is how much of a self-esteem/confidence I have left. Love has now became something else. He is my idol, I look up to him. He is intelligent, loving and caring but sometimes on the rough edges. I admire his self-esteem and his ultimate confidence. He has worked hard and is smart at that too.
I have this feeling that I do not deserve to be with him. Well sometimes he puts me in such a position to make me think like that. He doesn't know and I do not blame him for I did not speak up about it. All I ever wanted was something simple, but the simplest things in life is often the hardest to obtain. Happiness is easy to come by but hard to retain. For a person like me, its even harder when happiness to mean is a totally different theory all together. I gain happiness when people are happy or when they approve of me. I know this is sabotaging myself but trying to change the way I think would not make me a better person. I need to leave some pride and self-worth for myself. I cant help it but to keep giving.
Back to the topic, and so he said, '' I hope you don't mind if I don't do the whole ''In a relationship thing''. At that point in time I bloody didn't care cause neither did I want to do that. This is not a cry for that status but rather knowing that many people out there would do it voluntarily. Does it really mean anything?
On the other hand, if I was a guy, the only reason I would not swap status is because first I AM MALE, second, I HAVE CORP CLIeNts in my list, third, I HAVE EX GF's and I DON"T WANT THEM TO KNOW''' (keeping pussies in a glass jar) , fourthly, What's all the fuss, fifthly....................I cant be fucked dont bother me.
This is damn random but I was just thinking about it since all these online network spaces seem to be people's diary for the world to see...Don't pen if you don't want to be known.
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