Monday, October 18, 2010

Taking a step back

As emotionally affected as I am towards a 'not intended' personal constructive criticism, I decided to think of why this has happened. Happens to be that I am vocal, I speak my thoughts and I am opinionated. Many people don't accept such behaviours and take it wrongly as a direct dissing to another. However, to me, it is just my opinion and is not suppose to carry any weight. But then someone esteemed has enlightened me about my position. The esteemed says that I am of persuasive character and that my peers look up to me. It could be age or maybe their just plain stupid and boring. I decided to then shut up from that day onwards to see what was really happening. The main problem was that the other people in the 'community' loved to sing songs that weren't written by them but they sang it so well that the original songwriter and audience hadn't a clue to its originality.

I am talking about people who like to instigate and provoke others to give an opinion and then to sing it as gospel truth the other's opinion. Most of them were people whom I see almost everyday for the past year. They had many problems and dislikes with others and would probe others to 'be on their side' without seeming political. By lord, they are smart. But I am lucky to be awaken earlier of such people. I took a step back and I listened. I took a step back and I saw. I took a step back and I felt. I took a step back and I no longer am part of their circus. Instead of being my innocent and naive self. I instantly felt the instigators aura of unsettledness when I did just pushed the chit chatters away. The thought I wasn't in the right state of mind. Well they are right but just that I was actually in the right state of mind.

I will learn from my mistakes and am enjoying being in the position where I stand now. I just listen and not even nod. I try my best to show unbiasness as I don't know when the next round of name-using will happen to me again. My weakness is now known by me and it shall be fixed.




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