how much of this is true?

Never over-confident and with a strong sense of your own shortcomings, your tendency to be uncertain of yourself is a strong motivator to do the very best you can at all times. Others often recognise your capacities better than you do and you may find it hard to trust their judgment, even when you admire them greatly.

Sometimes negative self-talk and internal put-downs may add fuel to the fire. You may often be beset by feelings of inadequacy that run counter to your actual abilities.

Sadly, you're constantly and all-too-easily reminded of your flaws. And if circumstances fail to remind you, it's likely that you'll do it pretty well all by yourself!

You may be your most vocal and critical judge but the only thing that's really flawed is your opinion of yourself!

Take a look around… set aside the negative self-talk… what makes you so sure you're right anyway? You'll probably find that the external reality is very different and more positive than the view from inside your skin.

My assessment from AssessMe Assessment ! aahhaha

My dear...

Notes of a pessimist co-dependent lover.

My chest tightens when you don't look at me,

My heart stops beating when you don't kiss me anymore,

My blood boils when you don't give me attention,

My tears roll when you don't hug me anymore.

My soul bleeds when you stop loving me.

My life is empty when you don't talk to me,

My body is numb when you don't care about me,

My everything is nothing, when it is without you.

Nohohon Zoku sez so to u.

Needing some

IMHO

Looking through my friends facebook pictures. Everyone seems to be either Single or in a relationship with someone. Tagged name. Happy photos of couples hugging, kissing, enjoying each others company, smiling, laughing and embracing each other. Everyone looks happy, everyone is enjoying life and everyone seems to be care free as according to their photos. Married to, engaged to, or something something.

Does it mean anything to a girl if their other half placed their names as a special exclusive someone, announcing to the whole world?

I guess everyone has a different view based on their life and current relationship status. I for one was used to be against even letting anyone know that I am attached in a romantic relationship other than people who I can't avoid seeing or letting them know. I was just not up for the questioning by nosy friends or family members as I do not have a really clear track record of having long term relationships. It is annoying when they start probing into your life and asking you family really screwed up questions like , ''Wow your daughter seems to be hopping from men to another, how come?''. This is not nice people. Wait till this happens to you. I did not ask for this. So happen my life is just like that with so many fail relationships, but I never gave up and I was able to move on unlike some people who are still sulking.

So anyway, now, today, I sort of am in a relationship that I would say is steady and towards long term. Hope I do not jinx this. But somehow I feel funny whenever I want to upload a photo of both of us or even to tag him in my album. There is this sort of inferior complex that I am getting. Like I am not good enough to stand next to him. Coming from a person, retrenched twice in a year...thats is how much of a self-esteem/confidence I have left. Love has now became something else. He is my idol, I look up to him. He is intelligent, loving and caring but sometimes on the rough edges. I admire his self-esteem and his ultimate confidence. He has worked hard and is smart at that too.

I have this feeling that I do not deserve to be with him. Well sometimes he puts me in such a position to make me think like that. He doesn't know and I do not blame him for I did not speak up about it. All I ever wanted was something simple, but the simplest things in life is often the hardest to obtain. Happiness is easy to come by but hard to retain. For a person like me, its even harder when happiness to mean is a totally different theory all together. I gain happiness when people are happy or when they approve of me. I know this is sabotaging myself but trying to change the way I think would not make me a better person. I need to leave some pride and self-worth for myself. I cant help it but to keep giving.

Back to the topic, and so he said, '' I hope you don't mind if I don't do the whole ''In a relationship thing''. At that point in time I bloody didn't care cause neither did I want to do that. This is not a cry for that status but rather knowing that many people out there would do it voluntarily. Does it really mean anything?

On the other hand, if I was a guy, the only reason I would not swap status is because first I AM MALE, second, I HAVE CORP CLIeNts in my list, third, I HAVE EX GF's and I DON"T WANT THEM TO KNOW''' (keeping pussies in a glass jar) , fourthly, What's all the fuss, fifthly....................I cant be fucked dont bother me.

This is damn random but I was just thinking about it since all these online network spaces seem to be people's diary for the world to see...Don't pen if you don't want to be known.

My visit

Visiting Sydney after 23 yrs. Well I say visit, cause I went there with only one cause, which is to see my darling. I miss him so much although I still see him every weekend. I have to learn to let things go . Holding on too tight will only make my alone days suck. I learnt a lot of things about my other half although I live with him. We like aimless walks. We like just strolling around the parks, and pulling pranks on each other. I know he wants to pamper me, but its my character that doesn't allow my guard of ''masculinity'' down. Always thinking I have to be the man in everything, when I dont even have a dick. ahahha!!!

We had random conversations and came to a conclusion that I have an inferior complex towards his ex-gfs...well, its just that I have never been treated like I was the only one before. So this is really foreign to me to be full of self esteem and confidence that I kick ass and they suck ass! Heh Heh!

We both love to drink and like to eat Tapas. He thinks i'm a glutton, but he cant stop feeding me. Wonder who's fault it is ahhaa. He even bought a twin pack toothbrush and gave me one, even when I brought my own. It means something to me although its just a 3 dollar toothbrush.

He insisted on buying me sunglasses. Something that I wanted to buy for the whole year since I lost my old ones. Never got around to buying them. He has bought me what I wanted for this year. I dont know how to thank him enough for it. He is going to think I am gay.

Well I miss him already, and I am home, going to sleep on his bed and smell his smelly pillow. I love him but I don't think he does yet. Muax baby!

Lonely in a crowd

Lalaland

We look around at people around us, we see happiness, sadness, grief, pain, suffering, joy and bla bla. We sit and ponder when our turn will come. Will we every be able to find the one, or is there even such a thing as ''anyone'' for me? Fail relationships teach us to filter, but how many fails does it take to make a win. haha. It is mathematically impossible to guess this. The human emotion is the strongest and yet can be the weakest. A perfectly healthy person could die of severe depression and a bed ridden person could have ended up walking the next day because of their endless positivity to go on living.

People around are in greatly secure relationships with plans to tie the knot. Age is not a factor but definitely a matter. Good futures ahead with a perfect lifestyle. Compatible partners and great jobs. How come I have none? Is it just not the time yet? Is it because I have just began living? Are people really so happy? Is what I think perfection is , is something unattainable by me but is by others? Am I not fated to have that life? Is happiness short-lived for me? Am I too negative? Am I just an ass or am I just wasting my time?

When will I ever feel that feeling?