If you have never experienced a break up, count yourself extremely lucky. If you have never fallen out of love, considered it as strong faith and fate and a match made in heaven. If you have never been dumped, god be with you , you are really heaven sent. If you have never dumped anyone but get dumped all the time, it is time to revise your 'partner criteria list'. If for some reason you keep hearing things like ''You are not the one'', ''Maybe we are just not meant for each other'', " You are too good for me'', ''You deserve better'' and other kind of copied excuses, just leave and be happy this didn't happen any later.
Humans love to give excuses in order to clear their names and to be the noble and forgiving one. For instance, when a person cheats on their partner and denies all facts and truths, they will automatically be very defensive and would start to point fingers on the innocent party for all sorts of reasons. Eg: You don't spend enough time with me, You don't love me, You don't give me enough attention, You don't buy me things, You don't care for me and bla bla bla. There are 2 thoughts here; the first is, are you ''the innocent''? or second are you ''the abettor''?
To those who are in fact innocent, there is no reason for you to stay in such a relationship with a person who blames and accuses you of things you never did or actions you never took. You are perfect in your own self believe and as long as you live up to your part, there is nothing to be sad of. Protect yourself from words people use as they can hurt and scar you for life. Be aware that humans are smart animals and they have the ability to twist and turn situations and seats and if manipulative enough, they are able to make you feel as if you were the whole reason the relationship broke down and not because there was another person involved and you found out. Even if there wasn't another person, many reasons for breakups exists or even a million including ... 'caught wiping booger under the car seat'' (read on some magazine).
Do not let your 'self' be lost in the web of deceit and surrender. Everyone should learn to stand up for themselves and defend. But if the situation is not worth your time anymore, it sure as hell does not need your attention anymore. I myself have heard enough. I myself know what I have done or did not do. But themselves are pretty much lost in their own little world of self lies. Who is to lose? In reality no one. So why not just get on with our lives.
To the abettor who seems to be a lousy partner and just not compatible, they should wake up and realise that it is not because they are WRONG per se, but that everyone has different interests, goals and values in life. Compatibility is not something you can find out over night. It takes a lifetime of experience to find out. Don't be hurt. Just do better and do it right in future. The funniest situation I have ever encountered was that I was messy and he was OCD. That is pretty much straight forward that this 2 person's basic habits, characters and attitudes towards an object is totally different. It is not all about 'I LOVE YOU therefore YOU CAN PEE on THE COVERS. Feelings can change overnight but lifetime characters will not permanently go away in a day or a week.
As hard as it is to get over a break up, we must learn and believe that we will only be stronger. I was once naive, immature and not being able to stand up for myself. I have made feelings turn into fright. Afraid that one day that someone will leave me and they really do. But when you wake up from that dream and pain of losing someone in a relationship...you will realise that suddenly you actually knew what went wrong and that you wished you could make amends. It is too late and for me, I wouldn't want to go back to that alley. It is no longer a romantic relationship but rather a desperate attempt to stay attached.
To my friends who are in relationships which they themselves do not see a future with, I hope you will stop being selfish and continue to lead the other party into believing that there will be future together. It is painful to break up but more painful when you find out you have been 'cheated' all this time. Cheated on your time, feelings, money, love and everything else. If you often see yourself going back to the question of whether the person is worth it or if the person is the one...high chances are they are not the one that you WANT! When you have doubts and work on it...technically you are hoping that those doubts are true and you have a good excuse to leave them. Be merciful to the person who treated you well and stop playing with their hearts. If you are serious, make it serious and act on it. If you are just fooling around, be mutual. This does not apply to everyone but in general, don't paint the wall blue when you wanted it red.
Dear Est, if a guy is always suspicious of your every move, problem is he has severe trusting problems. Sometimes there is only so much of trust we can instill in a person. If you did nothing, walk out of the relationship with your heads up high and no tears rolling down. He who fails to see your true person is one who fails to have you by his side. You have done enough in fact, this relationship of yours is totally based on destructive emotions. Stop hurting yourself. You have that one chance to sever it and you shouldn't turn back and suffer like the other 100 times you did. This is what you wanted, act on it. Someone has to wake up and it is you. He has taken the step and now you have fallen.
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